Wit and Wisdom

Here are several sample aphorisms, parables, and insights from my latest book, WIT AND WISDOM. Most are my creations.
1. Miserable young wife: “I married this old man for his money. The money ran out, but the old man didn’t.”
2. America, where people neglect their parents and obey their children.
3. A half-truth is a whole lie.
4. Most arsonists are men, but women can also start fires if it’s time to cook a man’s goose.
6. She would have gone farther in her political career if she had been more skilled at applying makeup to both her faces.
7. Common criminals serve time in prison; great ones serve terms in Washington. Many of the latter are repeat offenders.
8. The Law of creation: nothing is finished for good until it is entirely good.
9. Every sin is an error, but not every error is a sin. Six months do not make a year, but it is not a sin to think so. Forgetting your wife’s birthday is an error, but you will think it a sin when she gets through with you.
10. Do not pretend to be wise in all things, at all times, and with all people; wisdom invites laughter and enjoyment. The truly wise are but children grown large.

A penniless man trudged along a lonely road despairing of life as he peeled and ate his last apple.
“Where, dear God, shall I find my next meal?” he moaned, “I am the most wretched of men without help or hope in this desolate land.”
At that moment he heard a noise, and turning, saw a woman, shabbier than himself, feeding her starving infant the peelings he had dropped.

Moral: If we can walk, see, and speak, there are others in worse condition and needful of our help.

Harold Raley